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TABLE OF CONTENTS
We will begin with a little background information on Shabbat: where does the holiday come from? Why do Jews celebrate Shabbat on a weekly basis? What does it mean to celebrate Shabbat? Throughout this guide, you will be asked to interact with the material you are learning. Questions for thought/discussion are interspersed throughout. Everyone (not just the Jews in the room) will be encouraged to answer and participate. This celebration of rest and creation is for everyone.
Next, we have provided you four different Shabbat themes to choose from. Each theme will walk you through everything you need for a Shabbat celebration, but with a different focus.
Theme 1: Blessing over the Candles: Rest and Separation Theme 2: The Parents Blessing: Making Connections Theme 2: Blessing over the Wine: Sacredness and Holiness Theme 3: Blessing over the Challah: Community and Family
Choose the theme that speaks to you based on an experience that you had this past week. Are you in need of rest? Did you have a difficult week? Or did you find time to seek out something special, or did something unique seek you out this week? Or did you have a family encounter that made you think about life in a special way? Each one of these themes is designed to focus on one aspect of celebrating Shabbat. These are universal themes that each one of us experiences in our own right, on our own terms. Take a poll of your group, decide on a theme, and begin to explore.
You will need to choose a facilitator – someone who feels comfortable bringing a conversation to a close and moving on to the next question or to the next blessing.
Remember, everyone in your group will be encouraged to participate. The questions are interfaith couple and family friendly, specific, and universal in nature. As human beings we are each in need of a day of rest, no matter who we are and where we come from; whether you celebrate the Sabbath on Friday, Saturday, Sunday or another day during the week. Everyone needs a Sabbath – a Shabbat. So welcome to your Shabbat.
What Is Shabbat?
“The people of Israel shall keep the Sabbath, observing the Sabbath in every generation as a covenant for all time. It is a sign forever between Me and the people of Israel, for in six days the Eternal God made heaven and earth, and on the seventh day God rested from all God’s labors.” Exodus 31:1617
Shabbat is the Jewish Sabbath‐‐though the English word actually came from Shabbat. It's a day ofrest and enjoyment at the end of every week that religious people undertake in imitation of God, whorested on the seventh day of creation. Traditional Jews refrain from all work on Shabbat, reserving itinstead for prayer, study, visiting friends and family, large meals, pleasant walks and naps. It'spronounced Shah‐baht, though some spell it Shabbos and pronounce it shah‐biss. Shabbat lasts from just before sundown on Friday until an hour after sundown on Saturday evening.The greetings for Shabbat are "Shabbat Shalom," or in Yiddish, "Gut Shabbos." (It sounds like "goodShabbos" and that's what it means.) From the InterfaithFamily.com Guide to Shabbat for Interfaith Families
Q&A
Please share the answers to these questions as a group. Take no more than five minutes on this piece:
• What do you already know about Shabbat? • Have you ever celebrated a Shabbat? What did you experience? • What questions do you have about celebrating Shabbat?
Did you know?
Shabbat is actually 25 hours long? Some celebrate for an extra hour (from sundown Friday till one hour after sundown Saturday) to show how precious Shabbat is!
Shabbat happens every week ‐ but WE are the ones who actually make it happen with our actions and ourcelebrations!
What’s It All About?
In Jewish culture, Shabbat is a day of peace, rest, reflection, hospitality and family. In NorthAmerican Jewish families, Shabbat dinner on Friday evening can be important family time. In Israel,secular Jewish families get together on Saturday to eat and just be together. The Jewish culturalvalues of hospitality and family find their expression in the customs of Shabbat.You can bring holiness and peace into your life in 20 minutes of blessings before Friday night dinner.Shabbat is for the entire Jewish community, and unlike many other Jewish observances, Shabbatexplicitlyincludes the non‐Jewish members of our families. Everyone can have Shabbat. From the InterfaithFamily.com Guide to Shabbat for Interfaith Families
http://www.interfaithfamily.com/files/pdf/shabbatexperience.pdf
“The people of Israel shall keep the Sabbath, observing the Sabbath in every generation as
a covenant for all time. It is a sign forever between Me and the people of Israel, for in six
days the Eternal God made heaven and earth, and on the seventh day God rested from all
God’s labors.”
Exodus 31:16-17
Shabbat is the Jewish Sabbath‐‐though the English word actually came from Shabbat. It's a day of
rest and enjoyment at the end of every week that religious people undertake in imitation of God, who
rested on the seventh day of creation. Traditional Jews refrain from all work on Shabbat, reserving it
instead for prayer, study, visiting friends and family, large meals, pleasant walks and naps. It's
pronounced Shah‐baht, though some spell it Shabbos and pronounce it shah‐biss.
Shabbat lasts from just before sundown on Friday until an hour after sundown on Saturday evening.
The greetings for Shabbat are "Shabbat Shalom," or in Yiddish, "Gut Shabbos." (It sounds like "good
Shabbos" and that's what it means.)
From the InterfaithFamily.com Guide to Shabbat for Interfaith Families
I quarreled with kings till the Sabbath,
I fought with the six kings
of the six days of the week.
Sunday they took away my sleep.
Monday they scattered my salt.
And on the third day, my God,
they threw out my bread: whips flashed across my face.
The fourth day they caught my dove, my flying dove, and
slaughtered it.
It was like that till Friday morning
This is my whole week,
the dove's flight dying.
At nightfall Friday
I lit four candles, and the queen of the Sabbath came to me.
Her face lit up the whole world,
and made it all a Sabbath.
My scattered salt shone in its little bowl,
and my dove, my flying dove,
clapped its wings together,
and licked its throat.
The Sabbath queen blessed my candles,
and they burned with a pure, clean flame.
The light put out the days of the week
and my quarreling with the six kings.
The greenness of the mountains
is the greenness of the Sabbath.
The silver of the lake
is the silver of the Sabbath.
The singing of the wind
is the singing of the Sabbath.
And my heart's song is an eternal Sabbath.
The lengthy week is at an end,
And with it work and weekday woe,
Encircled by family and friend,
We step back from time's endless flow.
For all who toil deserve to rest,
And all who sow deserve to reap,
To benefit from all life's best,
And to partake in Shabbos peace.
Though literally "Shabbos" means "rest," traditionally, Shabbos is much more than a day of rest for Jews. It is a day of spiritual and cultural renewal. It is a day of experiencing family and the shared heritage of peoplehood. It is a day for Jewish learning. It is also an appreciation of freedom, for only a free person has the luxury of choosing not to work.
Naomi Prawer Kadar, Shabbes (Workmen’s Circle/Arbeter Ring)
Shabbos reminds us that our bodies belong to us and that physical, intellectual and emotional pleasures are to be enjoyed. We need roses as well as bread. We are also reminded that our families and friends have a special place in our lives. Shabbos is a symbol of both our freedom and our humanity.
Adapted from Judith Seid, We Rejoice in our Heritage: Home Rituals for Secular Jews
However, too many of us still lack this freedom. We find ourselves working long hours and weekends. We receive far less vacation time than required to maintain good mental and physical health. The next selection, written over sixty years ago, shows that we still have a long way to go to achieve the essential precondition for a fulfilling Shabbos.
The most beautiful of the Jewish holy days is the Sabbath, the holiday with social significance, when for the first time, the idea of the right to rest was proclaimed for the slave and for the worker — a right which is much more important than the world-renowned "right to work" with which so many utopians hoped to solve the problems of society. Humanity still does not have the right to rest, and will never have it, until the foundations of life are rebuilt in accordance with the principles of social justice. It should be a source of pride to Jews that the first kernels of that idea were planted in its prophetic literature. — Chaim Zhitlovsky (1855-1943), philosopher of Jewish secularism and founder of Yiddish cultural schools in the United States
The past, present and future are timelessly linked
in the spinning circle of life.
Our past was the seed that became the present.
We can make it bloom in the future
if we nurture it with love, respect, and
understanding of the shared culture and heritage that we call life.
Nearly all Jewish holiday begin with lighting candles, and so this one will, too. After we light the candles we wave our hands in three big horizontal circles to symbolically bring the light closer to us, and then cover our eyes while we say the blessing. When the blessing is over take a moment of silent reflection with your eyes covered, and then open your eyes and enjoy the beauty of candlelight, bringing you into the new year.
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם
אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָֽׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּֽנוּ לְהַדְלִיק נֵר שֶׁלְיֹוםטֹוב
Barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha’olam
asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu l’hadlik ner shel yom tov.
Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe,
who has sanctified us with commandments, and commanded us to light festival candles.
Wine or grape juice are also standards of nearly every Jewish holiday. Before we eat we take a moment to say a blessing over a glass of wine. In this special version Rosh Hashanah is called Yom HaZikaron, the Day of Remembering, and Yom Truah, the Day of Calling Out. Tonight during our meal we will do some remembering, and some calling out. We will also focus on the gratitude we feel for the past year, and all of the blessings that it contained. L’chaim!
.בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּֽפֶן
Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha’ olam borei peri hagafen.
Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the universe,
who creates the fruit of the vine.
We will begin with a little background information on Shabbat: where does the holiday come from? Why do Jews celebrate Shabbat on a weekly basis? What does it mean to celebrate Shabbat? Throughout this guide, you will be asked to interact with the material you are learning. Questions for thought/discussion are interspersed throughout. Everyone (not just the Jews in the room) will be encouraged to answer and participate. This celebration of rest and creation is for everyone.
Next, we have provided you four different Shabbat themes to choose from. Each theme will walk you through everything you need for a Shabbat celebration, but with a different focus.
Theme 1: Blessing over the Candles: Rest and Separation Theme 2: The Parents Blessing: Making Connections Theme 2: Blessing over the Wine: Sacredness and Holiness Theme 3: Blessing over the Challah: Community and Family
Choose the theme that speaks to you based on an experience that you had this past week. Are you in need of rest? Did you have a difficult week? Or did you find time to seek out something special, or did something unique seek you out this week? Or did you have a family encounter that made you think about life in a special way? Each one of these themes is designed to focus on one aspect of celebrating Shabbat. These are universal themes that each one of us experiences in our own right, on our own terms. Take a poll of your group, decide on a theme, and begin to explore.
You will need to choose a facilitator – someone who feels comfortable bringing a conversation to a close and moving on to the next question or to the next blessing.
Remember, everyone in your group will be encouraged to participate. The questions are interfaith couple and family friendly, specific, and universal in nature. As human beings we are each in need of a day of rest, no matter who we are and where we come from; whether you celebrate the Sabbath on Friday, Saturday, Sunday or another day during the week. Everyone needs a Sabbath – a Shabbat. So welcome to your Shabbat.
What Is Shabbat?
“The people of Israel shall keep the Sabbath, observing the Sabbath in every generation as a covenant for all time. It is a sign forever between Me and the people of Israel, for in six days the Eternal God made heaven and earth, and on the seventh day God rested from all God’s labors.” Exodus 31:1617
Shabbat is the Jewish Sabbath‐‐though the English word actually came from Shabbat. It's a day ofrest and enjoyment at the end of every week that religious people undertake in imitation of God, whorested on the seventh day of creation. Traditional Jews refrain from all work on Shabbat, reserving itinstead for prayer, study, visiting friends and family, large meals, pleasant walks and naps. It'spronounced Shah‐baht, though some spell it Shabbos and pronounce it shah‐biss. Shabbat lasts from just before sundown on Friday until an hour after sundown on Saturday evening.The greetings for Shabbat are "Shabbat Shalom," or in Yiddish, "Gut Shabbos." (It sounds like "goodShabbos" and that's what it means.) From the InterfaithFamily.com Guide to Shabbat for Interfaith Families
Q&A
Please share the answers to these questions as a group. Take no more than five minutes on this piece:
• What do you already know about Shabbat? • Have you ever celebrated a Shabbat? What did you experience? • What questions do you have about celebrating Shabbat?
Did you know?
Shabbat is actually 25 hours long? Some celebrate for an extra hour (from sundown Friday till one hour after sundown Saturday) to show how precious Shabbat is!
Shabbat happens every week ‐ but WE are the ones who actually make it happen with our actions and ourcelebrations!
What’s It All About?
In Jewish culture, Shabbat is a day of peace, rest, reflection, hospitality and family. In NorthAmerican Jewish families, Shabbat dinner on Friday evening can be important family time. In Israel,secular Jewish families get together on Saturday to eat and just be together. The Jewish culturalvalues of hospitality and family find their expression in the customs of Shabbat.You can bring holiness and peace into your life in 20 minutes of blessings before Friday night dinner.Shabbat is for the entire Jewish community, and unlike many other Jewish observances, Shabbatexplicitlyincludes the non‐Jewish members of our families. Everyone can have Shabbat. From the InterfaithFamily.com Guide to Shabbat for Interfaith Families
http://www.interfaithfamily.com/files/pdf/shabbatexperience.pdf
Why Is Shabbat On Friday And Saturday?
The first mention of Shabbat or the Sabbath comes in Genesis 2:2-3 in the formof a verb, shavat, which means “rested” in Hebrew.
On the seventh day God finished the work that God had made and God rested on the seventh day from all the work which God had made. And God blessed the seventh day and called it holy, and rested from all the work of creation which God made.
All Jewish days (including Shabbat) begin in the eveningbecause of the pattern of God’s creation:
And there was evening & there was morning; a first day. (Genesis 1:5)
What Should I Wear?
People generally wear business clothes and casualclothes that one would wear to a party or dinner.We turn our cell phones off as a courtesy toothers before entering the sanctuary.
May I Bring My Children To Services?
Children are generally welcome in the sanctuary with theirparents and often especially enjoy the songs at the beginning of services. During the more solemn parts of the service,children are expected to be quiet. In some synagogues,babysitting may be available; you may need to pre-register.Check the synagogue calendar for Tot Shabbat services,customized for families with young children.
When May I Enter Or Exit The Sanctuary?
As a mark of respect, we do not enter or exit when the Torah (scrollcontaining the Five Books of Moses) is being read, lifted or carriedaround the sanctuary, or when someone is giving a sermon or speech.
Where Do I Find A Prayer Book?
The prayer books may be given out by volunteersat the door before services or placed at the chairsor pews. A second book, the Chumash (from theword chamesh meaning five), contains the Torahreadings in Hebrew and English. Since the Hebrewlanguage reads from right to left, Hebrew booksbegin where an English book would end, with thefirst page where you would expect the last to be.
Do I Need To Wear A Head CoveringOr A Prayer Shawl?
The tallit, or prayer shawl, is traditionally worn by Jewish men and boys (after their bar mitzvahs) and, in liberal congregations, by Jewish women and girls (after their bat mitzvahs). The braided fringes at the four corners of the tallit remind it's wearer to observe the commandments of Judaism.
A kippah, or head covering (called a yarmulke inYiddish), is traditionally worn by men and boys of all ages. In liberal synagogues, women and girls of all ages may also wear a kippah. Wearing akippah is not a symbol of religious identification like the tallit, but is rather an act of respect to God and the sacredness of the worship space. Just as men and women may be asked to remove their hats in a church, or remove their shoes before entering a mosque, wearing a head covering is a non-denominational act of showing respect.
If you wish to wear a kippah or tallit, you will find them by the entrance of the sanctuary. You do not have to be Jewish to wear a kippah or tallit. You may put on the kippah and tallitat any time during the service, but are generally requested to put on a kippah before entering the sanctuary.
What Is The Raised AreaIn The Sanctuary Called?
This is the bimah (pulpit) where the leaders of the services will stand. Behind the bimah is the aron ha’kodesh (holy ark) which contains theTorah scrolls (Five Books of Moses). Hanging from the ceiling in frontof the ark is the ner tamid (eternal light) which burns constantly as areminder of God’s omnipresence.
I Don’t Know Hebrew. How Will I Follow?
The service consists of both English and Hebrew readings. The Hebrew is often transliterated into English letters, helping those who do not read Hebrew to follow along. In some congregations, the service leader will indicate which prayers to read aloud as a congregation and which to read silently, and when to stand up and sit down. In many congregations, page numbers are announced so that you can easily follow.
Will I Be Expected To Participate?
You may read and sing along with the prayers when you are comfortable with them.You may notice that congregants are called up to the bimah to light the candles and say blessings over the wine on Friday night and to open and close the ark or recite blessings on Saturday morning. All these honors are pre arranged. In some congregations, guests are offered honors as a gesture of welcome. If you do not want to participate for any reason, you may simply decline.
During Saturday services, before and after reading of the Torah, the Torah is carried around the sanctuary in a procession with the rabbis and other service participants. You will see congregants touch their prayer shawls or their prayer books to the Torah and then kiss the prayer shawl or book. It is a custom symbolizing love and respect for the Torah. No one is obliged to do so.
What Is The Difference BetweenFriday Night & Saturday Morning Services?
Friday Night
Friday evening services are referred to as Kabbalat Shabbat (Receivingthe Sabbath). This short service welcomes the Sabbath with songs and psalms, followed by evening prayers. In Reform and Reconstruction is tsynagogues, the Shabbat rituals of lighting the candles, blessing the wine and challah are included. Conservative and Orthodox Jews will light their candles at sunset at home. The rabbi may give a sermon or an interpretation (drash) on the To rahreading for the week. There may be a baby naming and/or a blessing for a couple before their marriage or commitment ceremony. Included in the prayers is ablessing for the healing of those who are ill. Near the end of the service a prayer(Kaddish) is said for those who are mourning the loss of a loved one and for those who are remembering a loved one who died at this time in a previous year (yahrtzeit).The prayer service ends with a song.
An oneg Shabbat (literally Sabbath delight) of challah, light treats and beverages usually follows the evening service. This gives everyone a chance to meet new friends and greet those we know.
Saturday Morning
Saturday morning services also begin with songs and psalms before the Sabbath prayers. As morning is a moreintellectual time, the weekly portion of the Torah is read. If there is a bar or bat mitzvah happening, the last paragraphs of the Torah portion are often read or chanted in Hebrew by the bar or batmitzvah. This first time reading the Torah and Haftorah (Prophets,Psalms and Writings) marks the beginning of their Jewish adulthood.They may also deliver an interpretation of that reading. The rabbi mayadd further interpretation. As in the eveningservice, new parents, engaged and committed couples, and those celebrating other life cycle events may also be blessed; prayers for those who are ill may be included. All prayer services end with memorial prayers followed by more songs. The worship service is ended with the Kiddush prayer, where wine serves to sanctify the Sabbath day. A light buffet lunch is often offered for all who have been at services. This is an informal time for newcomers, including interfaith families, to meet and talk with member, make new friends and get answers to this questions.
http://www.interfaithfamily.com/holidays/shabbat_and_other_holidays/Shab...
Many Jewish parents embrace the custom of blessing their children on Friday evening.
This custom is a nice way of bringing gratitude and spirituality into your family. On Shabbat and at other special occasions, it can contribute to a special feeling of closeness between you and your children.
The words of the blessing are taken from the priestly blessing (Numbers 6:24-26) and the introduction is altered depending on whether the child being blessed is a boy or girl.
For boys, the introductory line is:
May you be like Ephraim and Menashe. יְשִׂימְךָ אֱלהיִם כְּאֶפְרַיְם וְכִמְנַשֶּׁה.
For girls, the introductory line is:
May you be like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah. יְשִׂימֵךְ אֱלהיִם כְּשָׂרָה רִבְקָה רָחֵל וְלֵאָה.
For both boys and girls, the rest of the blessing is:
May God bless you and guard you. יְבָרֶכְךָ יְהוָה וְיִשְׁמְרֶךָ May God show you favor and be gracious to you. יָאֵר יְהוָה פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וִיחֻנֶּךָּ
May God show you kindness and grant you peace. יִשָּׂא יְהוָה פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וְיָשֵׂם לְךָ שָׁלום
The blessing is performed differently in every family. In some traditional homes, only the father blesses the children. In other families, both parents give blessings--either together and in unison, or first one parent, followed by the other. In some homes the mother blesses the girls and the father blesses the boys.
Usually the person giving the blessing places one or both hands on the child's head. Some parents bless each child in succession, working from oldest to youngest. Others bless all of the girls together, and all of the boys together.
After the blessing, some parents take a moment to whisper something to their child--praising him or her for something he or she did during the week, or conveying some extra encouragement and love. Almost every family concludes the blessing with a kiss or a hug.
There are also different customs as to when the blessing is recited. Some families bless their children immediately before or after Kiddush. Others prefer to bless just after lighting the Shabbat candles. In some families with grown children who no longer live at home, this blessing is imparted over the phone on Fridays.
Why Ephraim and Menashe?
It seems strange that the blessing for boys singles out Ephraim and Menashe instead of the patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob--or, for that matter, any other great biblical leaders who were men (Joseph, Moses, King David, King Solomon). A few answers have been proposed.
The view most commonly held is that of contemporary Israeli Rabbi Mordechai Elon who wrote that Ephraim and Menashe are the first pair of brothers in the Bible who do not see each other as competitors. They do not struggle for power, and their dynamic as a family never seems to be the source of great difficulty in either of their lives. By blessing our children to be like Ephraim and Menashe we seek to bestow upon our children the legacy of peace and harmony between brothers.
Another interpretation, by 19th century Israeli Rabbi Shmuel Hominer, notes that Ephraim and Menashe grew up in Egypt, unlike the patriarchs who all grew up in Israel. Ephraim and Menashe maintained their distinct identity as Israelites, even though they lived in a place where they were surrounded and outnumbered by the Egyptians and their gods. The ability to remain faithful to Judaism, even when it is a struggle, is a legacy that we want to pass on to our children.
Special Occasions
Beyond the weekly blessing on Friday nights, many parents recite this blessing on special occasions, such as at a child’s brit milah or naming ceremony, bar or bat mitzvah, and wedding. Any important milestone in a child's life, from the first day of school to birthdays, to the day they graduate high school or college, can be appropriately marked with this blessing.
Reprinted with permission. To learn more about Jewish life from MyJewishLearning and to sign up for their free newsletters, visit us here.
Light one candle, and use that candle to light the others.
Draw your hands up three times around the lights, toward your face, and then place them over your eyes to recite the following:
ברוך אתה יי אלהינו מלך העולם אשר קדשנו במצותיו וצונו להדליק נר של שבת
Ba-rukh a-ta A-do-nai, Elo-hei-nu me-lekh ha-olam, a-sher ki-d’shanu b’mitz-vo-tav, v’tzi-va-nu l’had-lik ner shel Shabbat.
We praise God, ruler of everything, who made us holy through obligations, commanding us to light the Shabbat candles.
With your hands still over your eyes, you can use this private moment to pray for the welfare of those you love, and for anything that is important to you.
After the prayers are finished, remove your hands from your eyes and say “Good Shabbat”; everyone answers “Good Shabbat.”
The goal is to set the day apart, to remember that it is different and special.The woman of the house traditionally lights the candles, but it is lovely torotate this honor to everyone regardless of gender. The custom is to lightthe candles then to cover your eyes while saying the blessing. This gives yourfamily a chance to see the world transformed by the light of the candles whenyour eyes are opened at the end of the blessing. Some wave their hands overthe candles as ifscooping up the holiness of the flames. Two candles aretraditional but some families add a candle for every family member.
בָּרוּך אַתָּה אַדָנָי אֱלהֵינוּ מֶלֶך הָעוֹלָם אַשֶׁר קִדְשָנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָנוּ לְהַדְלִיק נֵר שֶל שַבָּת
BA-RUKH A-TA A-DON-AI EL-O-HEY-NU MEL-EKH HA-O-LAM A-SHER KID’SHA-NU B’MITZ-VO-TAV VITZ-I-VA-NU L’HAD’LIK NER SHEL SHAB-BAT
Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, who has sanctified us with Your commandments and commanded us to light the Sabbath lights. [A traditional translation.]
Holy One of Blessing, Your Presence fills creation, You make us holy with Your commandments and calling us to light the lights of Shabbat. [An alternative translation from Vetaher Libenu, a prayerbook created by Congregation Beth El of the Sudbury River Valley.]
http://www.interfaithfamily.com/holidays/shabbat_and_other_holidays/Shab...
To Say Over Candles:
The lighting of the Sabbath candles is one of the most familiar customs connected to Shabbes and one that is part of our collective memory. According to tradition, candles are lit on Friday just before sunset, usually by the mother and daughters of the household, though they may be lit by any Jew. The lighting of the candles signifies the spiritual essence of the Sabbath. Candlelight flickers, spreading its light and its warmth. It envelops us in peace, sholem bayis (family harmony), the light of learning, and the hope for the continuity of the Jewish people. Personal wishes for health and well-being go out from our hearts to all of our loved ones.
Naomi Prawer Kadar, Shabbes (Workmen’s Circle/Arbeter Ring, 1995)
We light these candles to celebrate our coming together.
They reflect the light in our lives and the warmth we find in our extended family.
They generate a feeling of togetherness, and connect us to our Jewish history and heritage.
May our time together bring us joy and a renewed sense of commitment to our people and all humanity.
Violet Cherlin, Long Island Havurah for Humanistic Judaism
We rejoice in our heritage which has given us the tradition of lighting the Shabbes candles.
Ashreinu bi'yerushateinu she'masrah lonu et hatoreshet l’hadlik ner shel shabbat.
Mir freyen zikh mit undzer yerusheh vos hot undz gegebn di traditsiye foon ontsindn di Shabbes likht.
Judith Seid, We Rejoice on Our Heritage: Home Rituals for Secular Jews
Barukh haor baolam.
Radiant is the light in the world
Barukh haor ba’adam.
Radiant is the light of humanity.
Barukh haor bashabbat
Radiant is the light of the Sabbath.
Rabbi Sherwin T. Wine
Most rituals described here as being performed traditionally by "the father" or "the mother" may be done by either parent, and those assigned to "the husband," or "the wife" by anyone over the age of bar or bat mitzvah.
The author's observation that Shabbat is best experienced in community points up the value of learning from the practices of other households and of inviting others into your own home on Shabbat for meals, study, and other shared observances. From The Jewish Catalog , reprinted with permission from theJewish Publication Society.
With the mood of Friday evening being gently feminine and infused with the aura of a wedding, it is a particularly sensual time, replete with good food, dim candlelight, songs, quiet talk, and enjoyment of both the physical and spiritual love of the family. It is a time for the spiritual growth of the family and the community.
The communal aspect of Friday evening, indeed, of all of Shabbat, should be emphasized. Shabbat is best celebrated and most fully experienced from within a community. Particularly if you are just beginning to come to Shabbat, search out a community or communities with whom to explore it.
Lighting Shabbat candles
This marks the formal initiation of Shabbat.
Kabbalat Shabbat
This is a mystical prayer service made up of six introductory psalms (which represent the six weekdays as well as the kingship motif), "Lekha Dodi" (representing the coming of Shabbat and the queenship motif), and the psalm for the Sabbath day.
Ma'ariv--the evening service--follows. In the Amidah [the core prayer of Jewish worship services] is the central reference to creation (Genesis 2:1-3). At the conclusion, it is customary to wish everyone else a Gut Shabbos or a Shabbat Shalom, a good and peaceful Shabbat.
Blessing of the Children
After Kabbalat Shabbat, on arrival home, it is customary for the father to bless his children. The traditional blessing is, "May God make you like Ephraim and Menasheh" (for the males) and "May God make you like Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, and Leah" (for the females). The father places his lips on the child's forehead and holds the child while blessing him/her.
Shalom Aleichem
The family or community, at the table, sing "Shalom Aleichem"--"Peace Be unto You" (found in the siddur, the prayerbook). This is a welcoming and an offer of hospitality to the angels who accompany us and the Bride [as the Shabbat Queen, the symbolic presence of Shabbat, is sometimes known] during Shabbat. "Angels of peace, may your coming be in peace; bless me with peace, and bless my prepared table. May your departure be in peace, from now and forever. Amen."
Woman of Valor ("Eshet Chayil")
The husband sings to his wife the verses from Proverbs 31:10-31, extolling her virtues and declaring his love and appreciation. Although this has fallen into some disuse and has come under considerable attack content-wise, it can be a quite significant and beautiful ritual.
Kiddush --Sanctification
This is recited over a full (brimming) large cup of wine. The wine symbolizes joy and the full cup symbolizes overflowing joy and bounty. On Shabbat there should be nothing missing from total physical and spiritual completion. Kiddush may be recited and drunk while (a) standing, (b) sitting, or (c) standing while reciting and sitting while drinking. There are a number of variations for holding the cup. Of particular note: place the cup in the palm of the right hand with the five fingers curled upward holding it. This symbolizes the five-petaled rose, the symbol of perfection, of longing for God (the petals reach upward), of the people of Israel.
The text of the kiddush can be found in the siddur. The first half is an account of the completion of creation on the seventh day (Genesis 1:31-2:1-3). The introductory phrase va-y'hi erev va-y'hi voker --"and there was evening and there was morning"--is said in a low tone. This allows the emphasis to fall on the first four words of kiddush: "? yom ha-shishi. Va-y'khulu ha-shamayim --"the sixth day. The heaven and the earth were finished"--the first letters of which form the Tetragrammaton, the holy four-letter Name of God.
After this we recite the blessing over the wine.
The second half of the kiddush recalls both the creation and the exodus from Egypt, the paradigm for all physical and spiritual redemptions and rebirths, and concludes with the blessing on the sanctification of the Shabbat. If wine is not available, the kiddush can be recited over the twin hallot [braided breads]. Simply substitute the blessing over the bread for the one over the wine.
Challah
Following the kiddush, the hands should be washed in the ritually prescribed manner. When everyone is reseated, the hallah cover is removed from the hallot [two loaves of braided bread, in memory of the double portion of manna received by the Israelites in the wilderness], and ha-Motsi --the blessing over the bread--is recited. The hallah is then cut or broken, and distributed to each person.
The First Meal --Zemirot
It is a mitzvah to eat three meals on Shabbat: one on Friday night, one on Saturday after the morning service, and one late Saturday afternoon before Shabbat ends. The first meal is a large one, with many courses. Before partaking of each course, some people say, "Likh'vod ha-Shabbat"--for the honor of Shabbat--as a kavvanah, intention, to the act of eating. During and after the meal, traditional songs-- zemirot --are sung. Some of these may be found in the siddur. These zemirot for Friday night are quite beautiful, and while reflecting the mood and feeling of Shabbat, also add an important element to the setting. Sing a lot. Sing other songs (Hebrew, Yiddish, English) as well, if they fit in and contribute to the Shabbat mood. The zemirot on Friday night are generally in 3/4 time--the grand waltz. Following the meal is the Birkat ha-Mazon (Grace after Meals) with the special additions for Shabbat.
The Night
After the meal, the time before going to sleep is usually spent talking to family or friends, and/or in the study of Torah.
Shabbat is the crowning glory in the life of the Jew. Countless generations of Jews followed the advice of Shammai the Elder who, whenever he found some especially tasty bit of food, would set it aside to be eaten on Shabbat. Jews who lived in poverty would deprive themselves all week in order to honor the Sabbath with light, wine, and proper food.
Why are Shabbat meals considered so important? If the Sabbath is a time of spiritual joy, why the concern with eating and drinking? The tale is told of a king who invited one of his subjects to come and dwell in the royal palace. Said the subject to the king, "I have a friend whom I love so dearly that I never allow myself to dwell apart from him. Only if you invite him to be with me can I accept your invitation. The soul refuses to leave the body; true joy can happen only when they rejoice together as one."
http://www.myjewishlearning.com/practices/Ritual/Shabbat_The_Sabbath/At_...
Flames evoke a sense of wonder.
The beginning of Shabbat is marked with the lighting of candles. In biblical times, women lit a lampthat had to last them through the evening, since lighting a fire was work they would not do duringShabbat. This tradition has been carriedforward through Jewish history. Today, you can begin yourShabbat on Friday evening by lighting the candles and saying a blessing.You can buy candles that are marked “Shabbat candles” in many supermarkets, though if you can’tfind them, other plain candles will work. Since we let them burn down and don’t usually move themor blow them out, make sure you find a good fire‐safe spot. One lights the candles first becausesaying the blessing is what brings in Shabbat.
This is probably the origin of the custom of covering the eyes before saying the blessing – to hide thatthe action in theblessing already happened. Some have the additional custom of waving the handstoward the face, as though to bring in the light of the candles.
How many?
Traditionally two candles are lit, however, in modern times families often light one candle for each member in the household. Any candleholder will do, but some people purchase candlesticks they only use for Shabbat. This is called hiddur mitzvah, beautifying the mitzvah (commandment). You make the candle blessing all the more special by having candlesticks specifically for Shabbat.
When?
Traditionally candle lighting times are calculated by checking the time of sunset (online or in the local paper) andsubtracting 18 minutes. Therefore, in the winter, candle lighting can be as early as 4pm and during the summer as late as 9pm. If you want or need to light candles when you get home from work or before your children go to bed, that’s ok! More traditional members of the Jewish community would disagree – but we just think it’s important to light in the first place.
1. Light the Candles 2. Cover your eyes 3. Bless the candle lighting (we don’t bless the object of the candles, rather the symbolism) 4. Greet everyone with the words, “Shabbat shalom!” and maybe even a kiss and hug. Lighting the candles symbolizes the actual start to Shabbat.
Try This!
Next time after you close your eyes, try taking a few deep breaths and focusing on the transition between the mundane (the work week) and the sacred (Shabbat) before you open your eyes.
The blessing is: If you don't feel comfortable saying the blessing in Hebrew, you can recite an English translation of all or part of it
ברוך אתהה'א‑לוהינו, מלך העולם, אשר קדשנו במצותיו וצונו להדליק נר של שבת
Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha‐Olam asher kideshanu b’mitzvotav v’tzeevanu l’hadlik ner shel Shabbat.
Blessed are You Adonai our God, Ruler of the Universe, who has sanctified us by your commandments and commanded us to light the Shabbat candles.
After the candles have been blessed, don’t blow them out.
Step 2: A Conversation
“A great pianist was once asked by an ardent admirer: ‘How do you handle the notes aswell as your do?’ The artistanswered: ‘The notes I handle no better than many pianists,but the pauses between the notes – ah! That is where the art resides.’In great living, as in great music, the art may be in the pauses. Surely one of the enduringcontributions which Judaism made to the art of living was the Shabbat, the ‘pausesbetween the notes.’ And it is to the Shabbat that we must look if we are to restore to ourlives the sense of serenity and sanctity which Shabbat offers in such joyousabundance.” Abraham Joshua Heschel, The Sabbath
Q&A
Please share the answers to these questions as a group. Take no more than seven minutes on this piece: Everyone is encouraged to share, but if someone does not feel comfortable, they can refrain. You can choose to answer all or some of the questions below.
• How does music, a universal concept, help you more fully understand the essence of Shabbat? • Aside from any Shabbat celebrations, how does your family relax? What do you do/not do? • How do you relax personally? Where/how do you find serenity in your life? • Did covering your eyes between lighting the Shabbat candles and saying the blessing help to physically separate yourself between the week and Shabbat? How did you feel after you opened your eyes? • Read the following quote: “Do your work, then step back, that is the only path to serenity. One who clings to his work will create nothing that endures. Just do your job, then let go.” – Tao Te Ching • What are a few practical techniques that you can do to be able to separate yourself from your work and the hectic pace of the week, even if it’s just for an hour or two?
Step 3: Activities
A Shabbat Story – The Rabbi and the Emperor Taken from the Babylonian Talmud and retold by Jody Hirsch as found in the book Tastes of JewishTradition.
Rabbi Judah, the Prince, was good friends with the Roman Emperor Antoninus. One day, the emperorinvited the rabbi to eat dinner in his palace. The rabbi ate fruit and pastries the likes of which he had nevertasted. The next Friday night, Rabbi Judah invited the emperor to eat at his house. They ate soup, roastedmeat, stewed vegetables, pastries, and wines. It was all delicious. It was better than any meal the emperorhad ever eaten. “I must eat here again!” said the emperor to the rabbi.“Come again next Wednesday,” the rabbi said.The next Wednesday, the emperor appeared at the rabbi’s house ready for a meal grander than the last. Rabbi Judah served the exact same menu: soup, roasted meat,stewed vegetables, pastries and wines – butsomehow the meal wasn’t nearly as good as it had been the previous week.“What’s the matter with our food!?” asked the emperor. “It’s good, of course, but it’s not nearly asdelicious as itwas last week!”“Ah!” said the rabbi. “That’s because I used a special spice last week which made the food taste all the better.”“And what is that special spice?” demanded the emperor. “I must have it!”“The special spice,” said the rabbi, “is Shabbat.”
Craft – Candle Making
One way of making Shabbat special and unique to your family is to create your own ritual items.CandlePurchase beeswax strips and wicks at a craft store Cut to size Roll with a wick inside Candlesticks ‐ Soda bottle candlesticks
Materials: • 2 empty/clean see‐through soda bottles (see through) • 4 bottle caps • 2 disposable Shabbat candle holders (or aluminum foil) • Craft glue • Option 1 materials: corn kernels, dried peas, black beans, lima beans, kidney beans • Option 2 materials: marbles, rocks, pebbles, small seashells
Steps: 1. Fill two bottles with layers of objects. You can use a spoon, your hands, or a funnel 2. Apply glue in a circle around the inside edge of the bottle cap. Close the bottle tightly. 3. Invert a second bottle cap and glue it on the top of the first cap 4. To use, line the inverted bottle cap with the disposable Shabbat candle holder or aluminum foil There are many websites where you can find other options for candle and candlestick making.
Here is one: http://www.jewishnaturecenter.org/html/shabbat_candles.html
http://www.interfaithfamily.com/files/pdf/shabbatexperience.pdf
The rabbis of antiquity used prohibitions to shape a Shabbat experience in which creative activity is set aside to make time for matters of the spirit. First of two parts
In this first part of a two-part article, Rabbi Steinsaltz describes in some detail the prohibitions for Shabbat as understood by traditionalist Jews. Reprinted from Teshuvah: A Guide for the Newly Observant Jew (transl. Michael Swirsky), published byJason Aronson Inc.
READPART II: Enjoyment and Spiritual Fulfillment
The Jewish Sabbath is unique. Indeed, a comparison with the Christian and Muslim imitations of it–not to mention the modern secular “weekend”–only underlines this uniqueness. Shabbat is not simply a day when it is customary to attend public prayer. It is a day when one enters a completely different sphere. The rabbinic sayings comparing Shabbat to the world to come are more than mere figures of speech. Basically, Shabbat means putting aside creative activity in order to concern oneself completely with personal reflection and matters of the spirit, free of struggle and tension.
The key element in Shabbat observance is a kind of passivity: refraining from “work.” Yet, over a period of three thousand years, the Jewish people have developed a tradition that transforms what might otherwise be a day of mere inactivity into one of joy and inner peace, “a day of rest and holiness,” in the words of the liturgy. This tradition is one of the hallmarks of Jewish culture as a whole.
Approached from a distance, the body of Shabbat prohibitions can appear to be an endless maze of details: “don’t do,” “don’t move,” “don’t touch.” Yet for all the elaboration these prohibitions have received, the principles underlying them are actually quite simple. The key formula here is, “Thou shalt not do any manner of melakhah.” The concept of melakhah is understood both in the simple sense of “work,” which is its plain meaning, and in the more complex sense that flows from the context in which it first appears, the story of the Sabbath of Creation. In the latter case, the term has the meaning of an act of physical creation. What is decisive is not the degree of effort involved, or whether the action receives monetary compensation, but rather whether it results in the appearance of something new in the physical world. Thus, relatively effortless activities like writing and profitless activities like landscaping one’s house become forbidden. Similarly, it is not permitted to kindle or handle fire on Shabbat, a fact that has always been of great practical significance. Not only is smoking prohibited, so is operating a vehicle or tool requiring internal combustion.
Over and above the basic prohibitions, a set of secondary restrictions was enacted by the Rabbinical authorities down through the ages. A few of these laws were in effect as early as the period of the First Temple. These are known as shevut prohibitions. In most cases they are intended as a hedge around the more fundamental prohibitions, designed to prevent certain habitual activities from leading to Shabbat violations. Such activities include commerce, playing musical instruments, taking drugs (unless they are vital), riding animals (a prohibition also based on the positive Biblical injunction to allow animals to rest on Shabbat), and handling muktseh objects. The notion of muktseh is a complex one in halakhah, but basically it refers to objects the normal use of which entails an activity forbidden on Shabbat, raw materials (such as stone, soil, and wood) not prepared specifically for use on Shabbat, and especially money.
Two kinds of prohibitions derive from the general statement “Let no man leave his place on the seventh day” (Exodus 16:29). On the one hand, it is forbidden to go further than the boundary of the locality in which one lives (the tehum Shabbat); on the other hand, it is forbidden to take things out of one’s house or to carry them about in public places (see Jeremiah 17:21-22). In Israel and in certain other countries, a “mingling of realms”– eruv hatserot –is often effected in a given locality (following special rabbinical rulings on this subject).
The main principle underlying the eruv is the creation of a circumscribed area. The two central practices connected with it are the creation of a symbolic fence around a city (or any part of it) formed by an arrangement of posts and wire, and a symbolic communal meal shared by all those participating in the eruv. In large cities with main streets full of public traffic, it becomes necessary to have an additional system of fences, which is not always possible to implement in practical or halachic terms. The eruv allows things to be carried almost anywhere within that locality. But this is not the case in most places in the Diaspora or even in certain places in Israel, and it is always best to ask knowledgeable local people how to deal with such practical problems as carrying keys, handkerchiefs, and prayer books on Shabbat.
The preceding is just an outline of halakhah (the law) on this subject, and much more detail needs to be learned, but all the rest is derived in one way or another from these basic principles. The upshot is that the only work that may be done on Shabbat is simple household tasks: picking up after oneself, light cleaning, and preparing meals (without cooking, baking, or readying raw food for use). It is permitted to cut and serve pre-prepared foods, or food that does not require manufacture (vegetable, fruit, etc.). Warm foods are permitted on the Sabbath when their preparation does not require ignition or changing the heat of the oven on the Sabbath itself. It is not only permitted to leave hot water for the Sabbath, but certain traditional Sabbath foods, like cholent, are dishes that are kept in the oven so they can be eaten hot. Otherwise, it is a day without ordinary activity, a day devoted to special things, “supplied with all that it needs” by the other days of the week.
In our own time, Shabbat observance has been made easier by the introduction of automatic timing devices (“Shabbos clocks”) to turn electrical appliances on and off and thermostatically controlled heating elements for keeping food warm. These technological advances may be used because the Shabbat prohibitions apply not to the processes themselves, but to the human performance of them. Still, there are numerous halakhic restrictions involved in the use of such devices. These details need to be mastered, and it is best to get practical advice from people more expert in such matters before making too many assumptions about what is permitted and what is not.
By Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz
Netilat Yadayim After making Kiddush, some people choose to prepare for the blessing over bread by washing their hands. This is a ritual washing and is not necessarily for cleaning the hands. When one washes it is customary to first remove all jewelry from one's hands. After washing, there is a tradition to not speak until Hamotzi has been recited, but to sing a nigun (a song without words) until everyone present has finished washing. To perform the hand-washing ritual: fill a cup of water and pour it over your right hand three times. Next, take the cup in your right hand and pour it over your left hand three times. Say the following blessing before drying your hands: Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha’olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitz'votav v’tzivanu al n'tilat yadayim. Praised be our Eternal God, Ruler of the universe: You hallow us with Mitzvot, and command us to wash our hands.
Prayer
Traditional Masculine Blessing
Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha'olam borei p'ri hagafen.
Traditional Feminine Blessing
B'rucha At yahEloheinu Ruach ha'olam boreit p'ri hagafen.
You are blessed, Our God, Spirit of the World, who creates the fruit of the vine.
Non-gendered Blessing
The following alternative kiddush was written by Marcia Falk, a prominent Jewish feminist liturgist. Her blessings avoid the problem of God’s gender because they do not reference God as a person-like being. In addition, they locate the power of blessing with the people ("Let us bless" rather than with God’s inherent blessedness ("Blessed are you")
N’vareykh et Eyn Hahayim matzmihat p’ri hagefen.
Let us bless the Source of Life that ripens the fruit on the vine.
Candlelight is very different than the harsh lights of our homes and offices. We begin Shabbat bathed in their sweet, gentle glow.
Candles are lit a minimum of 18 minutes before sundown on Friday evening.
Light at least two candles (some add an additional candle for each child.) Draw in the light by waving your hands toward your eyes three times. Recite the blessing, while covering your eyes with your hands. Uncover your eyes and take a moment to appreciate the sweet light of Shabbat.
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם
אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָֽׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו
וְצִוָּֽנוּ לְהַדְלִיק נֵר שֶׁל שַׁבָּת
Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha’olam,
asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav
v’tzivanu l’hadlik ner shel shabbat.
Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the universe,
Whose mitzvot add holiness to our lives
and Who has given us the mitzvah to kindle the lights of Shabbat.
No matter what temper tantrum or adolescent rebellion marked the week that is past, we take a moment to place our hands on our children’s heads and to offer them words of pure love.
The blessing for boys derives from Jacob’s blessing to his grandsons, Ephraim and Menashe, who are the first pair of siblings in the Bible who love each other rather than fight each other. The blessing for girls invokes the memory of our four matriarchs — Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, and Leah. The second part of the blessing — the Priestly Blessing — is the same for boys and girls and it comes from the Book of Numbers.
Place your hands on the head of the person you are blessing. Offer your blessing either aloud or silently. In addition to the traditional words, you may also wish to tell your child something that made you proud of them from the past week. Seal it with a kiss.
For daughters:
יְשִֹימֵךְ אֱלֹהִים כְּשָֹרָה רִבְקָה רָחֵל וְלֵאָה
Yesimeikh Elohim k’Sarah Rivka Rakhel v’Leah.
May God bless you like Sara, Rebekah, Rachel, and Leah.
For sons:
יְשִֹימְךָ אֱלֹהִים כְּאֶפְרַיִם וְכִמְנַשֶה
Yesimkha Elohim k’Efrayim vekhi’Menasheh.
May God bless you like Ephraim and Menasheh.
For all children, continue with:
יְבָרֶכְךָ יי וְיִשְמְרֶךָ יָאֵר יי פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וִיחֻנֶךָ יִשָא יי פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וְיָשֵֹם לְךָ שָלוֹם
Y’varekhekha Adonai v’yishmerekha
Ya-er Adonai panav elekha vihuneka
Yisa Adonai panav elekha, v’ yasem l’kha shalom.
May Adonai bless you and watch over you.
May Adonai’s light shine on you and be gracious to you.
May Adonai smile on you and grant you peace.
