Mourner’s Kaddish for Every Day by Debra Cash  Build me up of memory loving and angry, tender and honest. Let my loss build me a heart of wisdom, compassion for the world’s many losses Each hour is mortal and each hour is eternal and each hour is our testament. May I create worthy memories all the days of my life From: Beside Still Waters, available for download and purchase

The Longest Night (For Parents of a Child Who Has Died) by Rabbi Rachel Barenblat For Phyllis and Michael Sommer We all tell ourselves stories about grief to come. Anticipating the dark we think, how can I live without the sun I turn toward? We wrest what gifts we can from the dying days. One morning we wake and the doorway we most dreaded is behind us. The ice may not recede for months to come but day by day may...

Request (After a Miscarriage) by Rabbi Rachel Barenblat Source of all that is source of mercy planter of seeds in rocky soil You whose names are womb and breast and giver of milk protect everyone who aims imperfectly to emulate  your loving care guard everyone who opens her body and prays for possibility  grant us compassion when our bodies fail us and help us try again, and again remind us that deep down something new waits always to grow. From: Beside...

Candles (For a Stillbirth) by Nancie Martin  And there you are in my arms in a dress with ruffles grinning with just two teeth as everyone sings to you,and that’s you  with handfuls of wrapping paper, your face smeared with frosting, and look at you there, showing your doll how to cut the cake, and it seems impossible that it’s been four years of me lighting candles you’ll never see, flickering dimly in their fireproof glass, on the day you were...

Secular-Friendly Mourners' Kaddish Translation by Rabbi David Cooper There is an eternal essence that persists in time and space — and this is our prayer to make it part of our awareness  by affirming its persistence and pledging ourselves  to act to advance the promise it holds of a better world;  may it be soon and in our days. Amen. Let the great essence be blessed through all our actions! Whether it be blessed or praised or honored or exalted,  we...

In Memory of a Hurtful Parent by Rabbi Robert Saks O God: You know my heart. Indeed, You know me better than I know myself. My emotions swirl as I say this prayer. The parent I remember was not kind to me. His/her death left me with a legacy of unhealed wounds, of anger, and of dismay that a parent could hurt a child as I was hurt. Help me, O God, to subdue bitter emotions that do me no good,...

Dinner Alone (After the Death of a Spouse) by Helene Armet Sitting alone now eating dinner: tempted by the simplicity  of an easy yogurt the speed of a bowl of cereal. Fighting it alone now!  Chop, slice, dice, sauté. I learned to cook to please him,  laying my culinary soul at his fork sweetly blessed by a clean plate and a kiss. Moving ahead alone now  through an odd, disorienting light, a partial eclipse of my being, towards an unknown destination....

When Will I Be Myself Again? By Rabbi Lewis Eron “When will I be myself again?” Some Tuesday, perhaps, In the late afternoon, Sitting quietly with a cup of tea And a cookie; Or Wednesday, same time or later, You will stir from a nap and see her; You will pick up the phone to call her; You will hear her voice – unexpected advice – And maybe argue. And you will not be frightened, And you will not be sad,...

Broken Open by Rabbi Jay Michaelson When life is full of ease, spirituality is like cotton candy—fluffy, airy, and unserious....  And then something happens. Someone gets sick, or a relationship ends. Or a pet dies, or I lose my job. Or a friend dies unexpectedly. And then we go searching for meaning. Not answers necessarily... but significance, meaning. Now the self-satisfied smirk of the critic melts into something less sure of itself. What can be understood in the midst of this...

Unending Love by Rabbi Rami Shapiro We are loved by unending love. We are embraced by arms that find us  even when we are hidden from ourselves.  We are touched by fingers that soothe us  even when we are too proud for soothing.  We are counseled by voices that guide us  even when we are too embittered to hear. We are loved by unending love. We are supported by hands that uplift us  even in the midst of a fall.  We...

Magnified and Sanctified by Rabbi Allen Maller The process of dying is painful Especially if it is prolonged But death itself is a transition A transfer from here to there A recycling of the body and the soul. Matter is never destroyed, only transformed So too does the soul evolve, Higher and higher From instinct to inspiration, From haughtiness to holiness From selfishness to service, From individualism to union, Until it returns home to the Soul of Souls The Ein Sof,...

Lentil by Rodger Kamenetz “For mourning is a sphere Making a circuit in the world” So do not be surprised when it appears next door or even nearer. And what shall we eat for mourning but a lentil round as a mouth that is closed What shall we say to them on the morning of a day when no words are good, only the touch of a hand, an embrace? See them there: one silent, one shuddering making one body of...

For One Who Did Not Want Ritual Mourning by Jacqui Shine How do I mark a loss that leaves no ritual trace? You imagined for yourself no mourners crowded together over the earth becoming your body, no weeping against the rising murmur of grief that holds everyone, no rending of cloth, no resisting and difficult assent to God’s perfect judgment. My body struggles to keep from standing up into your memory, my tongue to keep from blessing your name in those...

Aninut by Rabbi Rachel Barenblat The stalks were easy to snap just above the root, brittle already from flirting with first frost. Still, they held clusters of tiny gold flowers until I broke them free and laced each stem across the top of our sukkah, merest hint of roof holding back the darkening sky. By morning they blossomed anew, each tight bud  now a puffball of white fur spiced with seeds.  In a week we’ll fling the remnants past the forest’s...

Short Vidui by Rabbi Rachel Barenblat I acknowledge before the Source of All  that life and death are not in my hands. Just as my soul chose to enter this world in life,  so my soul chooses to depart this world in death. May my life be a healing memory for those who knew me. May my loved ones think well of me,  and may my memory bring them joy. From all those I may have hurt, I ask forgiveness. To...