When Death Comes by Mary Oliver When it's over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms. When it is over, I don't want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real. I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument. I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

The Longest Night (For Parents of a Child Who Has Died) by Rabbi Rachel Barenblat For Phyllis and Michael Sommer We all tell ourselves stories about grief to come. Anticipating the dark we think, how can I live without the sun I turn toward? We wrest what gifts we can from the dying days. One morning we wake and the doorway we most dreaded is behind us. The ice may not recede for months to come but day by day may...

In Memory of a Hurtful Parent by Rabbi Robert Saks O God: You know my heart. Indeed, You know me better than I know myself. My emotions swirl as I say this prayer. The parent I remember was not kind to me. His/her death left me with a legacy of unhealed wounds, of anger, and of dismay that a parent could hurt a child as I was hurt. Help me, O God, to subdue bitter emotions that do me no good,...

Broken Open by Rabbi Jay Michaelson When life is full of ease, spirituality is like cotton candy—fluffy, airy, and unserious....  And then something happens. Someone gets sick, or a relationship ends. Or a pet dies, or I lose my job. Or a friend dies unexpectedly. And then we go searching for meaning. Not answers necessarily... but significance, meaning. Now the self-satisfied smirk of the critic melts into something less sure of itself. What can be understood in the midst of this...

Unending Love by Rabbi Rami Shapiro We are loved by unending love. We are embraced by arms that find us  even when we are hidden from ourselves.  We are touched by fingers that soothe us  even when we are too proud for soothing.  We are counseled by voices that guide us  even when we are too embittered to hear. We are loved by unending love. We are supported by hands that uplift us  even in the midst of a fall.  We...

Lentil by Rodger Kamenetz “For mourning is a sphere Making a circuit in the world” So do not be surprised when it appears next door or even nearer. And what shall we eat for mourning but a lentil round as a mouth that is closed What shall we say to them on the morning of a day when no words are good, only the touch of a hand, an embrace? See them there: one silent, one shuddering making one body of...

Mekonenet / Mourning Woman By Rachel Kann There is an oceanic pain-knowing, a tide no soul should ever be made to swim against, a depth no person should have to go below, where no diving bell can spirit, wherein no veiled escape is available, where the wailing penetrates; leaks in compulsive melodies from behind every curtain’s intended modesty. The Gddss herself can’t help but be boggled at the thought of all that staggering loss, the roiling sea in need of grieving....

In the Time of our Sorrow By Rachel Kann My tongue wants to un-gate the flood, it is an urgent compulsion to spill knotted guts, in these weeks of banned melody, my lips wants to rebel, to howl, to sing of my suffering, of all my shortcomings, every rejection, every threat to our collective existence, the abandonment unabated, of how my heart is a bitter almond, spilling with cyanide, splitting its endocarp, longing only for the orchard, of how my heart...

by Sylvan Kamens & Rabbi Jack Riemer At the rising sun and at its going down; We remember them. At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter; We remember them. At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring; We remember them. At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer; We remember them. At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of the autumn; We remember them. At...

Secular-Friendly Mourners' Kaddish Translation by Rabbi David Cooper There is an eternal essence that persists in time and space — and this is our prayer to make it part of our awareness  by affirming its persistence and pledging ourselves  to act to advance the promise it holds of a better world;  may it be soon and in our days. Amen. Let the great essence be blessed through all our actions! Whether it be blessed or praised or honored or exalted,  we...

Baruch atah Adonai Brucha at Shechina Blessed One-ness Bringing connection when there is separation, Remembering joy even when we cannot. One-ness, We are blessed to be part of this holy wholeness Even if we understand so little of it. We are blessed to have received so much love, Even when it is lost.  And we pray for the strength to perceive the blessings Even when it hurts so much.   Amen. 

Request (After a Miscarriage) by Rabbi Rachel Barenblat Source of all that is source of mercy planter of seeds in rocky soil You whose names are womb and breast and giver of milk protect everyone who aims imperfectly to emulate  your loving care guard everyone who opens her body and prays for possibility  grant us compassion when our bodies fail us and help us try again, and again remind us that deep down something new waits always to grow. From: Beside...

Hold onto what is good Even if it is a handful of earth. Hold onto what you believe Even if it is a tree that stands by itself. Hold onto what you must do Even if it is a long way from here. Hold onto life Even if it seems easier to let go. Hold onto my hand Even if I have gone away from you.

Short Vidui by Rabbi Rachel Barenblat I acknowledge before the Source of All  that life and death are not in my hands. Just as my soul chose to enter this world in life,  so my soul chooses to depart this world in death. May my life be a healing memory for those who knew me. May my loved ones think well of me,  and may my memory bring them joy. From all those I may have hurt, I ask forgiveness. To...

Short Vidui by Rabbi Rachel Barenblat I acknowledge before the Source of All  that life and death are not in my hands. Just as my soul chose to enter this world in life,  so my soul chooses to depart this world in death. May my life be a healing memory for those who knew me. May my loved ones think well of me,  and may my memory bring them joy. From all those I may have hurt, I ask forgiveness. To...

Aninut by Rabbi Rachel Barenblat The stalks were easy to snap just above the root, brittle already from flirting with first frost. Still, they held clusters of tiny gold flowers until I broke them free and laced each stem across the top of our sukkah, merest hint of roof holding back the darkening sky. By morning they blossomed anew, each tight bud  now a puffball of white fur spiced with seeds.  In a week we’ll fling the remnants past the forest’s...

For One Who Did Not Want Ritual Mourning by Jacqui Shine How do I mark a loss that leaves no ritual trace? You imagined for yourself no mourners crowded together over the earth becoming your body, no weeping against the rising murmur of grief that holds everyone, no rending of cloth, no resisting and difficult assent to God’s perfect judgment. My body struggles to keep from standing up into your memory, my tongue to keep from blessing your name in those...